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his prey - pictures of which he sold to car mags and newspapers around the western world.

I imagine matey boy’s work has dried up somewhat now that the entire populace and its mum carries a telephone with camera attached.

I needed mine a bit pronto in the Cotswolds the other day, but by the time I’d retrieved the bloody thing from the foot-well of my BMW my "exclusive" was in the next county.

Liveried up in black and white pop art wallpaper to conceal mid-life styling updates, there was really no mistaking this for the new Jaguar XF. But there’s a bit more to it than that.

Orders are already being taken, but when the car hits our pitted and pitiful roads in September it will come with a four-cylinder 2.2 litre turbodiesel engine option, thus answering a call from company drivers and, at last, taking the challenge to the Hun, namely Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz, all of whom have for years stolen potential customers by offering small capacity fuel-efficient and - more importantly for the owner/driver - tax efficient engines. The only diesel currently available in the XF is the 3.0 litre V6, which zaps higher rate tax-payers to the tune of £4,020 per annum. The new in-line four-potter will incur £2,684. Jaguar expects this car to outsell all other models at around £30K a pop.

188 bhp through the rear wheels will hardly crunch your kidneys into the chairs, but an all-new eight speed auto box should keep things smooth and fairly serene.

Grace and plenty of space. Pace, however, will be a little un-Jagish. Damn the taxman - he spoils everything.